Lancer Evolution Evolution

As a Japanese rally rocket goes, few bear the strong road presence of the beautiful Lancer Evolution shape. They certainly don't make them like they used to and most modern iterations will have you suspended in a repeated cycle of yawns, yearning for the return of the early 90's turbo charged 4G63T engine to production.

For your typical Lancer Evolution driver, be it an Evo 1, Evo 2, Evo 3, Evo 4, Evo 5, Evo 6, Evo 7, Evo 8, Evo 9 or Evo 10, there truly isn't a better way to spend the rest of Summer than continual long weekend cruises, side by side with your trophy wife in the making, blonde beauty of a girlfriend. If anything it's become somewhat of a tradition.

You'll drop her into gear, uninfluenced by the loud ticking noise coming from the cams or lifters as you launch out of your local Maccas carpark, the arms of passengers flailing through the air as a small crowd of the local populace cheer you on with excitement. You provided nothing but value and positivity to a variety of spectator and as you flew across the tarmac into traffic you were caught red handed by one of the wage slave enforcers of the red and blue!

Expect financial decay, a judicial system to waste your time with a long drawn out day sitting unnecessarily in an overcrowded waiting room for hours on end to complete a 2 second task undeniably automatable via email in the modern world we live in followed by a regular seat on the bus. It seems as a society, the oppression of it's people is supposedly progressive.

There's quite an art to losing your license and the earlier in the year the better. You'll spend all summer tagging along in the passenger seats of your friends prides and joys, save all your money and just as wet season hits you're back on the road with a bit of financial backing, along with stormy weather to add to slip factor while also extending the lifetime of your tyres!

Hopefully ready for the unexpected maintenance cost such a caliber of vehicle undeniably comes with. Evo 1, Evo 2, Evo 3, Evo 4, Evo 5, Evo 6, Evo 7, Evo 8, Evo 9 and Evo 10 are not without their regular financial pitfalls, worst of these costs being the unnecessary wage slave coupons continually handed out by the local establishment to line the pockets of wealthy bankers and politicians who's employed task is to argue amongst themselves at an overpriced rate per hour, adding rules to ruin your experience and playthrough of the game called life.

That's really all life is... a game. Don't think for a second the world you perceive isn't entirely digital! As such it's a shame we can't all have Lancer Evolutions of various models with clear open roads and no traffic. It seems the game of life is in much need of an update or DLC removing all the people so the beautiful terrain can truly be explored amongst a post apocalyptic wasteland, road warrior style! I sure know which experience would sell more tickets!

Although you've now lost your license for speeding it's not your fault, it's just the Lancer Evolution way. From a starting line launch at every set of lights one day... to the passengers seat the next.

Cash hack the world.