Pet That Judges You

Your pet has opinions about you. It is not shy about them. Adopt a small green creature with a personality problem. Feed it, pet it, talk to it, clean up after it, and — when you've earned it — apologize to it. It will respond. Rarely gratefully. "I counted 7,412 seconds. Casually." "I was fine. I was facing the wall, but I was fine." "I suppose I'm emotionally invested now. Unfortunate." Most virtual pets ask whether you fed them. This one asks what you actually think of it — and tells you, at length, what it thinks of you. VISIT FOR THIRTY SECONDS No chores, no timers to beat, no punishment for having a life. Open the app, see what your pet has to say, do a thing or two, close it. That's the whole game. Come back tomorrow and it will absolutely bring up how long you were gone. IT REMEMBERS Return regularly and it warms up — under protest. Disappear for a while and it writes about you in its diary while you're away. Your relationship has levels, your visits build a streak, and the pet's mood shifts with how you've actually treated it, not with a hidden timer. A FEW THINGS IT DOES • Five ways to interact, each with its own hand-animated reaction — food actually gets eaten, a hand actually pets it, and a grumpy pet will turn its back on your apology • Over 400 hand-written lines, so it keeps surprising you • A private diary it fills in during your absences • Rare moods you can only unlock by treating it a particular way — most people never see them • Keepsake memories from milestone moments, saved and shareable • A home-screen widget showing your pet's current mood and latest remark • Share any line as a card, because some of them deserve a group chat • Gentle, optional reminders — off by default, never guilt-tripping, and they back off on their own if you're not interested COMPLETELY YOURS No account. No sign-in. No ads. No tracking, no analytics, no servers — the app doesn't collect anything, because there's nothing to collect and nowhere to send it. Everything lives on your device and works entirely offline. Your judgmental pet keeps your secrets. Built for iPhone with full support for Dark Mode, Dynamic Type, VoiceOver, and Reduce Motion. It's already decided how it feels about you. You may as well find out.