Silly Con Valley: Startup Sim
Millennium Falck Enterprise Oy Games iPhoneiPadiPod touch
Silly Con Valley: Startup Sim is a free Games app for iPhone and iPad by Millennium Falck Enterprise Oy. Rated 5.0/5 from 6 ratings. Requires iOS 16.0.
- Rating
- 5.0
- 6 ratings
- Price
- Free
- on the App Store
- Size
- 148 MB
- Age 12+
- Updated
- Oct 12
- 2026 · v1.46
Screenshots
About Silly Con Valley: Startup Sim
Welcome to Silly Con Valley — the satirical tech startup simulation where you build the next billion-dollar unicorn (or burn through seed capital in 4 weeks). Set in a sun-drenched, retro-warm California OS environment ("Silicon Dreams"), Silly Con Valley puts you in the CEO hot seat. Pick your archetype, generate a hilarious corporate mission, hire eccentric talent, build disruptive tech products, manage team morale, and negotiate brutal VC pitch battles. FEATURES • RETRO-WARM CALIFORNIA OS ("SILICON DREAMS") Immerse yourself in a vintage 90s-inspired desktop operating system aesthetic. Navigate your company through a tactile 5-tab dock, customizable retro wallpapers, and authentic system window modals. • 21 SATIRICAL CEO ARCHETYPES ACROSS 10 PRESTIGE TIERS Pick from 21 unique CEO archetypes across an expanded 10-tier prestige ladder — from base starters (The Visionary, The Hustler, The Engineer, The Influencer, The Bootstrapper, The Nepobaby, The Futurist, The Suit) to unlockable legends like The Growth Hacker, The Cult Leader, The Chaos Agent, and community icon Pex Luminen. Each archetype features distinct Action Points, custom card decks, and gameplay-altering perks. • PERMANENT ASCENSION PROTOCOL & DEEP PRESTIGE Turn exit victories into generational power! Cash in your IPO success for permanent Ascension perks that buff starting capital, reduce VC meeting cooldowns, expand specialist recruitment rosters, and discipline facility rent burn across all future companies. • TURBO FAST-FORWARD MODE Scale your game speed at your own pace. Toggle between 1.0x, 2.0x, and 5.0x Turbo execution modes to blaze through pitch animations and weekly resolution receipts without compromising simulation depth. • THE CEO'S STORY & UNIFIED FOUNDER'S JOURNAL Every founder has a memoir. Read your running chronological company history rendered in your CEO's unique satirical perspective, review lifetime financial charts, benchmark archetype playstyles, and generate exportable retrospective cards for sharing. • DYNAMIC MARKET TRENDS & PRODUCT LIFECYCLES V2.0 Ride the hype wave of AI Slop, Crypto Bros, Enterprise Bloat, and HealthTech. Keep your products competitive with Major Upgrade v2.0 releases, tackle technical debt with Maintenance Refactors, or gracefully Sunset obsolete software to salvage capital and reassign executive leads. • PITCH BATTLES & EXPLICIT FUNDING ROUNDS Navigate structured funding rounds from Pre-Seed to Series A, Series B, and Pre-IPO. Pitch finicky venture capitalists across London, New York, Hong Kong, and Sand Hill Road with cards, traction proofs, and strict term sheet equity transparency. • ACTIVE NEMESIS RIVALS & HOSTILE TAKEOVERS Competitors aren't passive numbers on a leaderboard. Rivals launch targeted market attacks, attempt talent poaches, and file IP lawsuits. Turn the tables by staging hostile takeovers against multi-billion-dollar competitors! • FORENSIC DECISION AUTOPSIES Insolvency is a learning opportunity. If your startup burns out, receive a detailed forensic decision autopsy breaking down the fatal turning point that doomed your runway. • DYNAMIC OFFICE UPGRADES & INFRASTRUCTURE Start in a humble garage and work your way up to a trendy Co-Working Space and a sprawling $250M Tech Campus! Watch candidate talent and operating burn scale with your office prestige. 100% OFFLINE-FIRST PLAY WITH ZERO MANDATORY PAYWALLS Build from garage to IPO completely free. No mandatory micro-transactions. No online requirement. Just pure, unfiltered startup satire.
Ratings & reviews
5.0
6 ratings
What’s new
Version 1.46 · Updated October 12, 2026
What's New in Silly Con Valley 1.46 ("Ascension & Memoir"): PERMANENT ASCENSION PROTOCOL & DEEP PRESTIGE • When completing a venture via IPO or exit, founders now face a defining crossroads: bank your score on Game Center, or initiate the Ascension Protocol to unlock permanent, account-wide perks across future companies: - Seed Capital: +25% starting cash baseline ($125,000). - Warm Intros: -1 week cooldown on failed VC partner meetings. - Talent Magnet: +1 specialist candidate capacity in the recruitment market. - Burn Discipline: -4% office rent and overhead burn rate. - Press Darling: +10% starting product hype upon founding. - Ruthless: -5% baseline growth velocity across competing AI and SaaS startups. TURBO FAST-FORWARD MODE • Take control of gameplay pacing with the new retro LED speed selector in your action and briefing headers: - Toggle seamlessly between 1.0x (Normal), 2.0x (Fast), and 5.0x (Turbo) speeds. - Pitch combat timers, typewriter logs, and weekly resolution receipts accelerate proportionally. - Automatically unlocked for Series A Founders Pack owners, players who complete their first IPO, or founders with active Ascension perks. "THE CEO'S STORY" UNIFIED FOUNDER'S JOURNAL • An overhaul to executive analytics merging running narrative logs with lifetime career data into a 5-tab desktop window: - Chronicle: Automatically records major company milestones (incorporation, funding, launches, outages, hostile takeovers) written in your founder's distinct satirical voice. - Career: Lifetime venture records, highest valuations, and hall of fame achievements. - Financials: Lifetime capital flow analysis comparing Total Raised, Revenue, and Burn. - Insights: Archetype performance benchmarking and ChadGDP executive playstyle diagnostics. - Last Run: Forensic post-mortem review with complete valuation trajectory curves. - Read in vintage Paper mode or retro phosphor green CRT Terminal mode. - Dispatch your founder story directly to the Valley News desk or export high-res retrospective graphic cards for sharing. ACTIVE PRODUCT LIFECYCLE V2.0 & SUNSETTING • Products now accumulate technical debt and market fatigue over time: - Major Upgrade v2.0: Boosts product hype, quality, and active user retention. - Maintenance Refactor: Clears tech debt and reduces weekly bug generation. - Graceful Sunset: Retires aging products for salvage cash, frees assigned leadership, and migrates loyal users to newer active products. EXPLICIT FUNDING ROUND PROGRESSION • Structured VC rounds (Pre-Seed/Seed, Series A, Series B, Pre-IPO) with clear MVP and Monthly Active User (MAU) traction requirements. • Strict term sheet parity ensures the equity dilution displayed on cards binds directly to transaction contracts. FORENSIC DECISION AUTOPSY • Replaced generic failure screens with detailed forensic autopsies identifying your fatal inflection point (burn spiral, tech debt collapse, predatory dilution, or stagnation freeze). THE DOT-COM DISASTER DLC EXPANSION PACK (OPTIONAL IAP) • Travel back to 1999 with 8 retro developers & hype officers, 2 elite specialists (McKinsane Partner, SEC Compliance Hawk), and 3 historic Dot-Com crisis events. • Complete StoreKit 2 gatekeeping ensures unowned expansion content stays 100% isolated until purchased.
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App privacy
The developer, Millennium Falck Enterprise Oy, reported these privacy practices to Apple.
Data Used to Track You
The following data may be used to track you across apps and websites owned by other companies:
- Usage Data: Advertising Data
Data Linked to You
The following data, which may be collected and linked to your identity, may be used for the following purposes:
- Usage Data: Advertising Data
Used for: Third-Party Advertising
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