This Game Does Not Exist

You opened an app. This is not a game. Dude, Interim Acting Deputy Chief of the Department of Activities That Do Not Happen, is here to make sure nothing happens.

In This Game Does Not Exist you disobey instructions, close a window that refuses to close, take a number at an office where nobody is ever called and fill out a form proving you took part in nothing. Every procedure is a tap-and-drag puzzle: poke everything, trust nothing and even grab words from the narrator's speech bubble.

• 4 procedures (they are not levels) and an official certificate of non-participation
• A sarcastic voiced narrator, in English, Spanish and Portuguese
• Guidance with three levels of hints, for when you get stuck
• Hidden occurrences that go to the Dead archive
• Illustrated art and elevator music
• Free, no ads, no purchases, no sign-up. Works offline.

No game was started. No level was completed. You are not playing.