New Brooms

To the Editor of The Idler
Dear Sir: Though I am not one of your subscribers I am, I believe, one of your most faithful readers. I do not take your magazine, it is true, but I am at present employed in a family some member of which is evidently a subscriber, as the maid brings it out in the waste-paper basket regularly, once a month, when, according to her custom, she permits me to select from the month’s periodicals such journals as seem to me to be worthy of my attention in my leisure hours. I shall not conceal from you the fact that my fancy was first attracted to your publication by the fact that I always found it fresh and clean, with the leaves still uncut, and not soiled, bedraggled and often coverless as are some of the others which suffer more usage before reaching me. But having once cut the leaves with a convenient bread-knife and looked through one of your numbers, I perceived at once that you are, in your way, something of a philosopher, and I have ever been partial to everything that smacked of philosophy. Could you step into my pantry at the present moment you would find upon my shelves Plato and Aristotle as well as the immortal Mrs. Rorer, for I am, in my humble fashion, a philosopher as well as a cook. I do not at all agree with that learned and talented French gentleman who declared that to study philosophy was to learn to die; on the contrary, I hold that to study philosophy is to learn to live, and I see no reason why the study of philosophy is not as fitting an occupation for a cook as for a collegian.

SOME OF THE CHAPTERS ARE:-

I A Philosophical Cook
II A Bachelor on Women
III On Pensioning Writers
IV A Puritan in Bohemia
V An Arraignment of Originality
VI A Flattering Tribute
VII The Riddle of a Dream
VIII Beds for the Bad
IX Is Chesterton a Man Alive?
X From a Hunchback
XI From a Hotel Sponge
XII From Sarah Shelfworn
XIII From Anna Pest
XIV From Seth Shirtless
XV Sartor-Psychology
XVI Mr. Body Protests
XVII On a Certain Condescension in Fashion Writers
XVIII Of Looking Back war
XIX The Literary Life
XX The Poetic License
XXI The Necessity for Beggars
XXII The Abuses of Adversity
XXIII The Science of Making Enemies
XXIV The Fate of Falstaff
XXV The Reward of Merit
XXVI The Blessings of the Blind
XXVII A Tale of a Mad Poet’s Wife
XXVIII The Lock-Step
XXIX The Fruit of Farm

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